A Successful Marriage Seeks The Happiness Of The Spouse
A Successful Marriage Seeks The Happiness Of The Spouse.
What makes you happy? Happiness is something we all want, but what makes us happy is different for each person. Did you know that marriage was designed to provide happiness for both partners? That question leads to another: How is the level of happiness in your marriage? For those who want to find out about marital happiness, the Bible is an excellent help. In the book of Deuteronomy, for example, there is an interesting statement about marital happiness. This statement will teach us the second principle to have a successful marriage.
Deuteronomy 24:5 - "When a man is newly married, he shall not go out with the army or be liable for any other public duty. He shall be free at home one year to be happy with his wife whom he has taken."
A newly married couple is in a state of vulnerability.
It takes time for the bonds of love to produce a strong union in the couple. The initial enthusiasm, based more on passing emotion, needs to be replaced by more permanent reasons, shared experiences that will be celebrated throughout the years. If the husband were to leave quickly for military service, his enthusiasm could cool, or he could be excited by another, an acquaintance in another place. In those times men could be recruited for war, or for other services to the nation; specially to serve the king (1 Samuel 8:11-16). Being a soldier, in this case, could mean spending a lot of time away from home and the wife.
A newly married couple needs to strengthen their union.
Getting to know your partner well takes time. You also have to make adjustments to be able to develop a relationship with the other person; overcome differences, reconcile characters, and start thinking as a team. It is interesting that this statement is preceded by verses that speak of divorce (24:1-4) as if, in light of that human tendency, it is important to prevent it.
The newly married couple must establish their responsibilities well.
They are no longer at mom and dad's house, so now they must lead a home. Who does what, the definition of roles, is important for the smooth functioning of the home and family. Imagine what it would be like to have a whole year to be able to develop these areas in the best way. Implicit here is the idea that the husband has responsibilities in the home alongside the wife. He doesn't stay home to watch TV while the wife works!
The newly married couple must learn to maintain happiness over time.
Happiness produces great motivation to live. The fact that you have a year to learn how to make your wife happy is to ensure that the second year will be easier. And so on until the end: each one seeks the happiness of their spouse permanently. You may be wondering; how do you know if you are making your spouse happy? How is happiness measured? Well, if you take a year to try it, I think you'll eventually figure it out. Each person has ways in which they feel happiness... it's a matter of discovering it and then practicing it. The best way to find out is to ask your spouse what would make them happy.
This declaration is inserted in a book that reviews the laws and requirements that God had so that the people of Israel could access the promised blessings. We don't normally associate happiness with laws, but from this statement we can see that God's laws are not meant to take away our happiness, but to help us find it. Happiness is an important element in the marriage relationship. From the vulnerability of the first year to the golden years of old age, seeking the happiness of the spouse will be an important element for the quality and duration of the relationship to be the best. Therefore, the search for happiness of the spouse is one of the principles for marital success.